i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
