u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
