What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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