ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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