No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
