It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
