Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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