Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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