I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
