sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
