Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We left the knife in your bed.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize