Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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