exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
