Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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