Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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