My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
