did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
