Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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