69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
