Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
a search helicopter?!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
