I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
