just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
