Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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