I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize