I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
