My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
