Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
people are starting to question the shark bite story
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
