he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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