Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
