god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
