hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
