you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
