i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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