Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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