Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
