normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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