i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
