Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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