Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
