so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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