turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I have feelings that need drinking.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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