I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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