last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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