Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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