just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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