You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize