if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
