i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize