I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
