butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
