If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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