If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
