I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
