Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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