Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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