He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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