What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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