Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
