I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize