Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
