You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
