Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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