I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
