I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
