Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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